From Dr. Downey: The Psychology Behind “Mom Guilt” and Plastic Surgery

From Dr. Downey: The Psychology Behind “Mom Guilt” and Plastic Surgery

As a plastic surgeon and a mom of five, I know firsthand how hard it can be to put yourself first. Every day in my clinic, I meet incredible women—mothers—who come in curious about a procedure they’ve been thinking about for years… yet they’re hesitant. The most common reason? Mom guilt.

And trust me, I get it.

There’s this deep-rooted belief that once you become a mother, all your energy, time, and resources should go toward your family. I’ve heard it all—because I’ve felt it too:

• “I feel guilty spending money on myself when it could go toward my kids.”

• “What if I need time to recover? Who’s going to take care of everything?”

• “Is this selfish?”

• “I shouldn’t care so much about how I look.”

These thoughts are so common that I felt compelled to talk about them. Because the truth is: putting yourself first sometimes is not selfish. It’s necessary.

You Deserve to Feel Good Too

Many moms wait decades to finally give themselves permission to do something for their own well-being. But here’s what I’ve learned as both a surgeon and a mother: when you feel good about yourself—physically and emotionally—you show up as a better mom, partner, and woman overall.

Plastic surgery isn’t just about aesthetics. It can boost confidence, restore comfort, and help you feel more like you again. I like to think of it as refilling your cup. When your happiness reservoir is full, it naturally spills over into the lives of those you care for.

How to Move Beyond the Guilt

If you’re struggling with mom guilt but considering surgery, here are a few thoughts from both my professional experience and my personal journey:

• It’s okay to want this. Taking care of yourself allows you to better care for others.

• Do your research. Talk to a board-certified surgeon (like me!) who can walk you through the process and answer all your questions about safety, downtime, and results.

• Communicate. Speak openly with your partner or trusted friends. You may find more support than you expect.

• Ask questions. The more informed you are, the more confident you’ll feel in your decision.

• Know you’re not alone. So many moms carry these same feelings—and many who move forward with surgery tell me they wish they’d done it sooner.

You spend so much time caring for everyone else. It’s okay to do something for you. Whether you’re considering a mommy makeover, breast augmentation, or a simple skin procedure—this is your journey, and you deserve to feel confident every step of the way.

If you’re ready to explore what’s possible, I’d love to meet with you. Not just as your surgeon—but as someone who understands exactly where you’re coming from.

Ready to let go of the mom guilt and embrace the best version of you? Let’s restore your confidence and sculpt the silhouette you deserve in 2025.